Keep them waiting

Of late I have been accompanying an older aunt to many doctor’s visits. At each of these offices we wait rather incredibly long times. I have been to one office with her three times and the earliest she has seen her doctor is ninety minutes late, once two and a half hours late and never an apology. Sitting in the waiting room, it is obvious that the vast majority of the patients are elderly. Surely, it cannot be a coincidence that it is an elderly client that is being kept waiting. Is it assumed that they have nothing else better to do than read out of date magazines? I see a variety of doctors and have never been kept waiting that long. Doctors are often late, but rarely by more that fifteen minutes or so and never without an apology. Is it because the medical staffs know that the elderly loathe to change doctors? Is it because Medicare pays too little? I assume that they do not mean to be insulting, but they are.

Reality Show Opportunity

I sat the other night to watch an evening of television when I was assaulted by a chain of political attack ads. Thank god for the mute button on the remote. But it got me thinking that we have the Nobel awards for important contributions to society from the arts to science and those that are unclassifiable, i.e., economics. We have the ig-Nobels for the science of the curious and often comical. But what award do we have for the inventions, such as the mute button, that make everyday life bearable?

If billionaires are donating significant portions of their estates to fight to extend life, perhaps they should set aside some for a prize that makes that life tolerable, maybe the Gates-way or Icahrn’s icons. Or perhaps they can fund think tanks for the politicians who have no thoughts of their own and hire consultants who have but one idiot thought.

This may also be an opportunity for yet another reality show. Submit inventions for viewer’s judgment. The winner gets cash and a free few hours with a patent attorney. Just a thought.

Illuminating limn

I found out of recently that there is some minor controversy over the word limn. It seems that the Baltimore Sun used the word in a headline and someone wrote to the paper complaining about the use of the word. That person, describing herself as the holder of a Phi Beta Kappa from University of Maryland, as well as graduating magna cum laude, thought if she didn't immediately understand the word, most people could not. I have interest for obvious reason and find this reaction strange on at least two levels.

Firstly, it must be nice to have an ego that allows you to perceive yourself as the standard against which all else is measured. As irritating as it is, you have to have some admiration for her self-perception. I have used the word limn somewhat often throughout my adult life (unfortunately many decades) without ever being challenged. But give the person her due. Apparently the Living World Vocabulary study (1981) estimated that less than a third of college graduates understood the word. However, there is no indication of the makeup on the survey sample. They could all have been Phi Beta Kappa's or University of Maryland graduates.

Secondly, why is it that someone, rightly proud of such academic credits, complains about an apparently obscure word? Where is this person's intellectual curiosity? I would think that they would be grateful for the opportunity to learn something new and perhaps incorporate into her every day vocabulary. Was her purpose in life the achievement the Phi Beta Kappa and/or a magna cum laude degree and there is naught left other than the role of (un)common scold?

Does charity begin at home?

Last week, Tom Brady,quarterback of the New England Patriots, was involved in an auto accident. Brady himself was unhurt. However, his car looked to be totaled. The accident was way overplayed by the press. But in all of the verbiage, there seemed to be little to no comment on the fact that the car, worth in excess of $90,000, was loaned to Brady either by a charity or be auto manufacturer that sponsors the charity.

Now certainly Tom Brady and his wife, who together make multiple millions of dollars a year, can afford to buy their own car. I think the world of Tom Brady as a quarterback, but does he need this too? Would it not have been better for the auto manufacturer to donate the car to the charity rather than to Tom Brady? Is this common practice? How many cars as Audi loaned it to how many people? Do they get a tax deduction for this? Is it larger than the tax deduction to the charity? Through all the other silly hoopla surrounding the accident, why have none of the media questioned this aspect? Is it or should it be acceptable? Isn't this charity for the wealthy?

Head for the middle! Where is it?

I went to a big box hardware store the other day. I needed something in the back corner. As I traveled through the store, I was greeted personally by no less than seven employees, one of which interrupted his sales pitch to a pair of customers. Had I been one of the customers, I would have thought it rude. Being greeted once is pleasant. I enjoy going into Wal-Mart and being welcomed by the greeter and asked if I need help. No one else in the store deems it necessary to run up to me to say hello. Yet Wal-Mart is successful.

When does a corporate desire to be friendly with customers turn from pleasant into assault or stalking? Is it three times or more? It reminded me in reverse of airline flight crews wishing everyone, “Bye. Bye-bye. Bye,” with a bored, endlessly mechanical tone of voice, but with a smile. Doesn’t it just make you want to buy another ticket?

It would be nice if service industries could strike a happy medium. In high school math we learned about distributions and how most events cluster in the middle. Is this still true? Of late politicians seem more and more polarized occupying the extremes. I hope (for many reasons) that they do not represent us by reflecting polarization. Company executives apparently came to the conclusion that instead of one or two employees, perhaps those with whom you interact, everyone should rush up to greet you. If one is good, seven must be better. Can we, please, get back to the middle. If we are closer together we would not have to shout.

The importance of local business

In my home state for the last few years pharmaceutical companies are not allowed to buy dinners or give other gifts to doctors. Currently there is a move afoot to repeal this law. Why? Local restaurants have lost business as a result. Amazing isn't it, lack of business trumps bribery.

Taken to the extreme you have to wonder if the Commonwealth should repeal murder laws because it will crimp sales at the local gun shop. Is this too absurd? May be not. There is also legislation pending to limit gun purchase to one a month. Gun owners will just have to suffer with a mere dozen a year. Will such legislation end gun violence? Not hardly, but it is a tool that will help certainly.

So, how's the legislation doing? It's held up. Why? Sales at local gun shops will be hurt, if it is passed. Lets keep priorities clear, gun shop owners and gun lobbies contribute to campaigns; dead people don't.

Isolated Social Networks

Today a large group of people try to stay connected by subscribing to social network sites. They do this while they are alone. I am not a psychologist, but that does not seem to be connected. The more socializing that is done, the more isolated people become. I am an introvert who values his privacy, so I do not have a face book page. I have never visited face book nor have any desire to. I am fairly close to being asocial. Yet, even I worry that there is a generation that lives in an imploding egocentric universe, however unintended. I wonder if it is any coincident that Apple, the ultimate electronic marketing machine, starts all its product names with “i”? Do they recognize the shape of the future as being both egocentric and a small universe?

Re Apple as a marketing machine, I noticed on the news today all the folks who lined up today in order to get one of the limited supply of iPhone 4s. At least locally, unlike those who line up for tickets to sports events or concerts, this group were all ignoring one another.

Most will only be able to order one. Apple did not have enough available. Didn’t the same thing happen with the iPad? Is Apple just poor at planning? Or is there some rationale behind this?

The worms that follow Apple I am sure do not care. I swear if Jobs put a battery pack behind a pile of dung; an Apple logo on the front and dubbed it iPoop, there would be a line of folks queued up the night before to buy that as well. Would there be enough to go around?

Addendum: There is an old joke, likely last told by Henny Youngman, about a man, Harry, who picks his new suit up at the tailors. The fit is awful, but the tailor tells him to hold this sleeve, hunch his shoulder just so and stand slightly tilting to the left. After leaving the tailor with his new suit, Harry meets some friends and stops to chat. After Harry leaves, one friend turns to the other and says, "God, Harry looks awful, nice suit though." Today Apple announced in order to get proper reception with the new iPhone4 it is necessary to hold it just so. Nice suit though.